When you have an eighteen month old that hasn't said a word yet the first thing they do is make sure she can hear. We knew she could hear us, but they needed scientific proof of how well she could hear. So they sent us to another military hospital, a couple of hours away from where we were stationed for her to have her hearing tested.

They put us in a room, with her on my lap and there were speakers on each side of the room. The idea is that she should turn her head toward each side of the room when noise comes from that speaker. Then a stuffed bear above that speaker would shake around to acknowledge that she had turned her head in the right direction. The test began, and she turned to the correct side when she heard the low tone, but then the bear scared her. She was done with that room and done with those bears. We weren't there long enough for them to complete the test in great detail, but they did concur with me. She could hear.

About that time, my husband was transferred back to North Carolina. We were going back to the same base that we had moved to as nineteen year old newlyweds. We liked it there, our oldest was born there before we left for California. It was going to be nice to have grass and trees again. As we settled in, there was still no development of speech for our youngest daughter. There were other things that came up though. She had always startled easily. Living near a busy street there were all sorts of new noises to bother her. Then there was her mouth. While she was eating, sometimes it would be as if she didn't know what to do with the food in her mouth. She would hold it there, and I could hear her swishing it around, but she wouldn't swallow. I would pry her mouth open and she would either finally swallow or spit it out. We were waiting for an appointment at the hospital with a new pediatrician. We had to figure out why she wasn't talking, why everything overwhelmed her, and get her some help.

The pediatrician did take her lack of speech seriously for a minute. He ordered a test called an ABR, which measured brain stem response to sound. She was sedated for it, and the results showed some level of improper response to sound. Okay, now help us? We were referred to an early intervention agency that came and played with her at the house. They brought puzzles, blocks and games that were all sorts of fun, but didn't help her talk. She should have been having speech therapy. The doctor could have referred her for it. I didn't know that you could have speech therapy if you weren't talking. That's my fault for not educating myself. I was so desperate and thought that I was doing everything I could for her. After my husband left the military, I recieved her complete medical record. Flipping through the pages, I look half crazy. Pages of me calling and asking questions about something that I read on the brand new internet. I was searching and grasping at straws, but none of it mattered or helped. They wouldn't listen.

Why not see another doctor? Great question, it was a matter of economics (meaning we had no money). At time, if you lived near a base that would be where you recieved your medical care. You had no other insurance unless you were away from the base and had some sort of emergency. For us to take her to a civilian pediatrician, we would have had to pay for those costs entirely. That wasn't a possiblitiy at that point. The military doctors could have referred her to specialists, either military or civilian. They could have sent her to Bethesda and we would have gone. No amount of begging would get her to see a specialist. They did refer her once to get an MRI. That hospital made an error in her anesthesia and she couldn't have the test. Her pediatrician on base thought that was okay, she probably didn't need it anyway. He told me that his brother had special needs and they never found out what was causing it either. Her diagnosis was "Global Developmentally Delayed" and that would be it. Just so you know, that isn't a medical diagnosis. You can be developmentally delayed and have nothing physically wrong with you. That wasn't the case for her and I knew it. My mission was to get her to a "real" doctor. I needed to get her a Medicaid card to make that happen. I filled out all the paperwork for her to get SSI disablity, the only way we could get her on Medicaid. Her application was denied. She didn't have a medical diagnosis. It was a vicious cycle. I should have done so many things differently.