Today is the day of Haley's big appointment. I've made sure that everything is ready. Made sure we had all notes and documentation. Everything was ready on Friday for today. So this morning I started to gather it all up. First, I couldn't find our insurance card, and for some reason our printer is on the blink. After fighting with the printer for a while, I needed to grab the map to the doctor's office. It was not where I left it. That's okay, the directions were on line. As long as I had the notebook, everything would be fine. That held a few jotted down notes to ask the doctor, as well as a photograph of particular interest. The photo was taken underwater when we were playing in our old pool with an underwater camera. It showed Haley's foot out of joint and folded over. That picture was taken on accident, but was helpful to her doctors in the past. It was from our pre-digital days, so there weren't many copies.
Anyway, I couldn't find anything that I had planned to take to the doctor. Notice how many "I's" are in this so far? With my hands buried under the sofa cushion, the epiphany came. God doesn't need my help with this. It won't matter if I have my notes, or a photo. Those things haven't been magical in the past. I have to let go of this too. God's got this one. He can use this doctor to reveal the answers that we so desperately seek and have sought. God alone. This is so much bigger than us, and everything I've done to try to find answers has failed. That also means that if this doctor can't figure Haley out, it isn't my fault. It's part of God's plan. He will still be praised.
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